-translation: It was dark today, but Now I See the Sun

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I’ve been sleeping in all week, accidentally missing one class, while the rest of my morning lessons were canceled. Because of this, it was extremely unsettling walking to the bus this morning in the pitch darkness in order to make my 7:44 S-tog (train). I tried to read on the train to appreciate my last few days of the commute, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open and resorted to a half-wakeful nap. The sun is peeking out of the clouds now, though! Maybe I’ll have a pretty view from the plane as I fly out to Amsterdam this afternoon.

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Today was the last day of class, and it’s really hitting me hard. I also had a heart-to-heart with Sara Jensen last night about what I’ve learned, what I’ve loved, what I’ll miss, etc. It’s heart-breaking! Plus, the past few days of class have actually just been mini-feasts with each set of peers and teachers. In Danish, we even did a gift exchange, and for Creative Travel Writing, we walked to a buffet downtown! DIS, man. I’m telling you.

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I told Sara last night that the thing I would miss most is travelling (and my host family, of course!) But it’s different, because missing people is one thing, while missing a way of life is something… bigger. I can talk to Sara and Maria on Facebook, and we may even visit each other in future years, but who knows when I will get another chance to come back to Europe. The likelihood that I will ever spend another four months here is next to nothing, though I’m thinking I’ll have to find a way to make it happen somehow.

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I’ve just become so adventurous in the past year! I feel like I can do anything, tackle any challenge, take on big changes, throw out all my material possessions (I won’t, but I could!), and start a new life, because that is basically what I’ve done in the past few months.

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In just sixteen short weeks, I’ve explored major cities in TEN different countries:

1. Denmark: Copenhagen, Birkerød, Allerød, Hillerød, Roskilde, Helsingør
2. Germany: Hamburg
3. Sweden: Stockholm, Malmö
4. Italy: Rome
5. Iceland: Reykjavik
6. France: Paris, Lille
7. Norway: Trondheim
8. UK: London
9. Belgium: Brussels
10. Netherlands: Amsterdam, Leiden *soon to be completed

IS THAT INSANE, OR IS THAT INSANE?! I also have a passport stamp from Toronto, Canada, but I don’t think that one counts since I didn’t leave the airport. (Same with Frankfurt, Germany on the way home.)

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I have now been to more countries than I have been to states in the US. (Twelve countries and nine states if you count D.C.) I just can’t wrap my head around this. I have always felt so unworldly and jealous of those who had the opportunities to explore other lands, my mom included. Now, off nothing more than a whim and a strange, misguided determination, I have become one of the “Been-tos.” This is a term from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novel Americanah, and it is used to represent a club of people who have returned to Nigeria after travelling and living abroad. They meet-up every couple of weeks to discuss the outside world and all the bores and dullness of home. “Ugh. I’ve been-to Pennsylvania, and the food there was so much better…” “Have you been-to London? Art there was so much more prevalent.” etc. I feel like I’ll need to start one of these clubs of my own, or I’ll go mad keeping it all inside me! A completely normal conversation to have with a classmate here follows this basic pattern:

“Did you go anywhere last week, or did you just stay in Copenhagen?”

“Oh, I went to Rome and Iceland. It was amazing! You have to go to Iceland if you get the chance.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m actually meeting a friend there next weekend! It’s one of the girls I went to Prague, Vienna, and Budapest with a few weeks ago. I’m so excited.”

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Seriously?! How is that even real life?! Sorry. I know this post is scattered and rant-ish, but I’m basically just spilling out random thoughts about my semester because I can’t come to terms with it being over.

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The title of this post is reflective of my mood as well as the weather, though. For the past couple weeks, I’ve been really sad about leaving Europe, doing my best not to think about it and explore as much as possible before going home. But the more I think about it, the more excited I get about coming home to Christmas. It will be so great to cuddle up on the couch with my dog and watch The 25 Days of Christmas on ABC Family (provided we haven’t changed cable deals again?) and bake Christmas cookies with my mom. I’ll visit all my friends at school who have been having way too much fun without me, and I’ll get to finally see my sister’s dorm room in person, not just over Skype or Viber. I’ll celebrate missed birthdays and dole out souvenirs. I’ll have my first legal drink in the States, as long as someone else pays. (I’m still a stickler. Give me the free water!) I have plans to force my brother into re-teaching me Munchkin and bragging to my dad about my successful turkey-roasting experience. I’LL WRAP MY PRESENTS AND THE UNDERSIDE OF THE TREE WILL BE BEAUTIFUL. That’s what I’m most looking forward to, though I am worried about how well my things will fit in my suitcases under the weight limit.

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*sigh. Talk about bittersweet. Like this chocolate I’m eating.

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I’ll also miss Danish. It has been positively amazing and eye-opening to study a language while being surrounded by it. I’m sad to leave though, because I am just now getting the hang of it! The Danish language has been my greatest cultural connection to Denmark, and it has made me feel most at home in Europe. Less conspicuously American and more of a shy Scandinavian. When I go home, there will be no hiding where I’m from!

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Okay. I’m distracted by my chocolate now and can think of nothing else deep to say, so I guess I’ll end it here. Sorry for the anti-climax.

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Venlig hilsen/ best regards,

Lizzy-wa